Possessiveness and romance

💫 MINI BLOG 💫
"You're mine"
"You belong to me"
"I won't share you with anyone else"
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⬆️ These comments make me cringe when I read them in a novel, especially the romance genre. They are all an example of possessiveness, which has no place in romance for the following reasons:
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1. Love is not about owning and/or controlling someone else.
- The ONLY personal you can completely control is yourself.
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2. "True love" has trust at its foundation.
- If you have to tell someone that they are yours . . . are they really?
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3. Possessiveness can be a sign of abuse.
- Be careful and alert in any relationship where the above words are spoken. ⠀⠀
Some authors write these possessive statements because it can come across as "protective". However, protectiveness can be written in more positive ways (I know because I've done it!).
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Possessive men and women are NOT a romantic/relationship ideal in real life. You might argue that a novel is "make-believe" but studies have shown that this stuff sinks into the subconscious.
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Young, impressionable, and vulnerable readers need to be guided towards what a REAL loving relationship looks like (art CAN imitate life!). My novels have relationships based on mutual trust, honesty, respect, and open communication - and my characters STILL get into trouble. Yet, it's the former that gets them to their happily ever after, and can in real life as well.

As writers, let's model positive behaviours to our readers and stop writing possessive statements.
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