Since the announcement regarding my identification of a new subgenre of romance - coined post-trauma romance - I have received messages from writers asking whether their work classifies. To make identification simpler, I have decided to write this blog in which I outline the differences between romance, trauma romance, and post-trauma romance.
What is romance? My definition of romance is a work of fiction that includes a love story as the central element, between two or more characters, with a happy and satisfying ending. It must: 1. Feature a love story with a HEA (happily-ever- after) or HFN (happy-for-now) as a central element of the narrative What is trauma romance? My definition is a work of fiction that depicts a traumatic experience/s within a romantic narrative. It must: 1. Feature a love story with a HEA (happily-ever-after) or HFN (happy-for-now) as a central element of the narrative 2. Feature at least one love interest who has experienced trauma 3. Describe and/or explore the trauma, and its associated symptoms What is post-trauma romance? My definition is a work of fiction that depocts a traumatic experience/s and the processes of recovery from the traumatic experience/s within a romantic narrative. It must: 1. Feature a love story with a HEA (happily-ever-after) or HFN (happy-for-now) as a central element of the narrative 2. Feature at least one love interest who has experienced trauma 3. Describe and/or explore the trauma, and its associated symptoms 4. Include a representation of post-trauma recovery attempts in the narrative I hope this makes the distinctions clearer. Do you have questions about this subgenre of romance? Pop them in the comments. Yours in love and romance books, A.K. xo
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Approximate reading time: 1 and ½ minutes One of my favourite 80s TV shows starred Linda Hamilton and Ron Perlman, and even if you’ve never seen it, the title will give away the premise: Beauty and the Beast.
Though I hadn’t seen the series in years, I remembered how much I’d disliked the final season. So, when I was given the complete three seasons as a Christmas gift, I decided to re-watch it and see if my opinion was the same. It was. I came away from it with a single looping thought. I wouldn’t have ended it that way. Of course, that is an imagination-inducing thought for any writer! As you would expect, it led to the inevitable “How would I have finished it?”. The more I thought about it, the more an idea for my own variation on the tale formed. I scribbled a few notes, thinking it was going to be a story for my eyes only, to satisfy my disappointment. However, I soon received signs that told me differently . . . A month into writing it, Sarah at Opium House Designs displayed the gorgeous cover that now wraps itself around BEAUTIFUL. It pulled on my heart and I knew it belonged to me, or more accurately, my book. Then, there were all the unbidden conversations people started having with me about the different versions of Beauty and the Beast. I listened to the things they said they loved and hated. I was stunned to discover that I had included all the beloved parts (i.e. gentle romance, elements of darkness/danger, magic) and none of the despised (i.e. toxic/abusive behaviour). Next, in a reading group I belong to, someone said, “You know what I’m in the mood for? A good Beauty and the Beast retelling”. After the shock wore off, I knew I had to release BEAUTIFUL. Readers often ask writers where they get their ideas. As you can see, they can come from anywhere, including a favourite old TV show! If you would like to know more about BEAUTIFUL, you can check it out here: link/photo. Yours in love and Beauty and the Beast retellings, A.K. Leigh xxoo Fall in love . . . with Leigh! Question: Do you enjoy retellings? Let me know in the comments below. Approximate reading time: 2 minutes Brother of the Witch is here, my 20th book! Must be time to celebrate . . . There was a time when I didn’t celebrate my writing successes regardless of the size of the achievement. You see, growing up in my family, success was not celebrated. Ever. A quick example: I was the first person in my immediate family to get into university (yay!). Most of my family did not come to watch me graduate. None took me out to celebrate afterwards. Not even my parents. The message I received from this, and other instances throughout my life, was that my achievements were not a big deal. As such, it was never my basic instinct to celebrate. It didn’t matter if it was a small or large success, either. I let every type pass by without acknowledgment. Do you do the same? That changed when something dream-changing happened . . . The night I signed my first publishing contract, my now ex-husband (but still best friend) took me out for a celebratory dinner (Thanks, Johnny!). I remember feeling so proud and happy during that dinner. That was the first inkling I had that it might be important to celebrate success. The feeling grew with each moment I acknowledged, whether it was something “small”, like my 20th book being published, or “big”, like a new publishing contract. I now know that this is a necessity for you, too. Here are the five reasons you need to celebrate your success: #1. Self-esteem, self-love, and confidence. The act of celebration has been shown to release endorphins. As such, it makes you feel good about yourself. This promotes self-esteem, self-love, and confidence within yourself. Isn’t that what everyone wants? Celebrating your success is a simple way to achieve these things. #2. It generates a success mindset. By focusing on the things you’ve achieved, you are creating what is known as a “success mindset”. If you know anything about positive psychology or even the so-called Law of Attraction, then you know that the things you focus on impact your life in positive and negative ways. Why not pay attention to the good stuff? #3. It develops an “attitude of gratitude”. By being grateful for the achievements in your life, you stop dwelling on the negative. You move your thoughts from "what I haven't achieved" to "look what I've done"! It shows you how much you have to be thankful for, and reinforces your success mindset and positive psychology. #4. Motivation and encouragement. I suggest you keep a list of your successes and equivalent celebrations. This list will give you a boost of encouragement at those times you might slip into self-pity or when you feel like nothing is happening. It can also motivate you to bigger and better things. #5. Inspiration – for yourself and others. Celebration shows you, as well as others, what’s possible if you believe in yourself and dare to act in rhythm with that belief. It can act as inspiration for the future, for both you and others. And, it "gives permission" to those who are hesitant about going after their goals. All of these are solid reasons for marking your achievements in some manner. It doesn’t matter how you do it, and it doesn’t have to be lavish and public (though, it can be). As long as it is special and memorable for you, that’s all that matters. Unfortunately, with recent events in the world, my celebration of Brother of the Witch’s release was delayed. But now that some of the restrictions have been lifted, I’m off! How do you celebrate your success? Let me know in the comments. Yours in love, romance books, and celebrating, A.K. Leigh xxoo P.S. Ebook and paperback copies of Brother of the Witch can be claimed here. #success #successmindset #positivepsychology #lawofattraction #celebrateyoursuccess
Motorbikes, Vampyres, and Daydreams: The Unconventional Beginnings of a Paranormal Romance Series.27/4/2020 Approximate reading time: 1 and 1/2 minute All of my long-time readers will know that I’m a big dreamer and, as such, utilise a variety of dreaming techniques in my writing (I even wrote the #1 Amazon bestseller on the topic). Hence, it will come as no surprise that my latest novel, BROTHER OF THE WITCH, came about due to a daydream.
It involved an ashy-pale skinned, platinum-blond vampyre riding a motorcycle down a tree-lined highway in the black of night. That’s it. Simple, right? Even though I am used to my dreams taking me to interesting places in my writing, it still astounds me how such a simple image from a daydream spawned an entire book series (there are currently four novels in the Bloodworth family series – with more planned.). When Zeke, the motorbike riding vampyre, first popped into my head, I knew he was special. Even more so when he wouldn’t leave my thoughts. Whenever this happens, I know I need to pay special attention. After I used a dreaming technique known as “re-entry”, I began to meet the entire Bloodworth family, including an ancestor who was the catalyst for the problems faced by her descendants. Leonardo, the titular brother in the most recent novel, came in last. His cheeky, yet mature and determined, personality won me over. As his story unfolded, I learned a few things about myself as well as the insidiousness of psychological abuse and the conflict it can cause – in both love and life. Of course, other characters soon joined the family: werewolves, vampyres, witches – and witch hunters. As can be surmised, some of these characters had good intentions towards the Bloodworth family and some did not (Boo!). Some were love interests (woot!). This was the point where a beautiful, intelligent, and misguided witch hunter called Sara Cooper entered the story. When Sara started falling for Leo, the real magic of the story began. Because, when a witch hunter falls for a witch, what could possibly go wrong . . .? :-) Have you ever used daydreams as a springboard for your creativity? Yours in love and romance books (and witchy brothers), L.H./A.K. xxoo #paranormalromance #paranormalromanceseries #daydreams #dreamingwriter #thedreamingwriter #writingideas #storyideas #bookblog #readingblog #writingblog Approximate reading time: 2 and ½ minutes Many of you know that I am highly organised. As such, some of you have asked me to share my tips on how I’ve been maintaining a balance between home schooling obligations and finding time to write. Here are some of my suggestions:
#1. Be realistic about what you can achieve. This was the first problem I had to tackle. On a typical school day, I could average 3000+ words. Obviously, that had to change because I needed to allocate some of my day into teaching my children. I’ve had to not only work out a new realistic daily word count for myself but also what I can achieve as far as educating my children. Which leads to point 2. #2. Understand that you do not have the same time, resources, experience, and knowledge as a teacher. If you are like me, your children’s teachers would have sent you a large amount of resources. After a quick scan, I realised there was no possible way I could cover all of it in the suggested time frame. I refused to feel guilty about this, especially considering I am not a professional teacher and I also have career, study, and family/home commitments to juggle. I have said this before, but it is worth repeating: You are NOT Supermum. Do not burn yourself out due to societal expectations. Which leads to the next point. #3. Decide on YOUR new normal. What is normal for you during this challenging time will be different to everyone else. There is no right way or wrong way. We are all doing our best. If you can only arrange thirty minutes of lessons a day for your children, that is fine. If you can arrange six hours a day, that is also fine. Right now (and, this might change in future), I am sitting at around three hours a day. At this point, you might be asking, “Where does writing fit in”? I’m glad you asked. Check out point 4. #4. Schedule time for your writing. If you’ve read my other blogs (on my writer’s website – www.aklauthorservies.com – as well as on this one), then you know I am a believer in scheduling time for writing. In creating my new normal, I’ve had to reschedule my writing time. What does this look like? I have allocated myself an hour at lunch time, an hour after homeschool, and an extra hour at night. This has meant some sacrifices on my children’s part as well as on mine. I have also had to relax some of my usual rules. Something else you can do is: #5 Utilise “between-times”. Between-times are those instances when you are waiting for a short time. This can include when a child goes to the toilet (which, I’ve noticed, takes longer at homeschool!), when you’re on hold on the phone, or when you’re waiting for the washing machine to finish its spin cycle. I am currently writing this sentence as my children are solving maths problems. If you pay attention, there are a multitude of between-times you can take advantage of. Having said that, I typically use between-times for something I will discuss in a future blog, however, now is the time to incorporate them into your writing routine, if you can. You will be surprised how much you can get done in snatches of five minutes throughout the day. This carries to the next point. #6 Night owl or early bird? I am naturally a night owl. That is why I’ve given myself an extra hour at night in which to write. If you are an early bird, you can operate on the same principal and wake up an hour earlier. Work within your own inclinations. I’ve never understood blanket writing advice which advocates one over the other. Working to your own nature is going to make you much more inspired and creative. This leaves me one final point to make. #7 Give yourself credit and cut yourself some slack. This is a strange and unexpected situation. Nobody knows what they’re doing! Remind yourself that you don’t need to be perfect (whatever that is) and you don’t need to be Supermum (that’s a myth). Give yourself the credit you deserve for the effort you’re making and cut yourself some slack. You’re doing great. I hope these seven tips have helped you navigate the balance between homeschool and writing (and motherhood). With a little tweaking, you can create a happy compromise for your children’s education and your writerly (or other creative) muse. Do you have anything else you can suggest? Please share it in the comments below. Yours in love and romance books, A.K. Leigh xxoo Approximate reading time: 1 minute
As a full-time writer, writing coach, freelance editor, part-time student, and mother of three, I understand all too well about the dreaded “mother guilt”! The judgemental attitudes from others, coupled with your own ideas about what it means to be a mother and the competing needs of your children, can exacerbate the situation. So how can you follow your dreams AND avoid mother guilt? Here are five simple techniques you can use to manage it: #1 – Know that it is okay for you to have dreams and goals that are outside of your parental persona. This one is probably the hardest. We currently live in a society that tells women that being a mother is the only thing they should want. Of course, women are as human as men, and have desires, hopes, and passions that include things other than children – I know this might come as a shock, but some women don’t even want children *gasp*! It is okay (and healthy and natural) for you to have dreams and goals that are outside of your parental persona. Repeat that as a mantra. Write it on a post it note where you can see it any time you get hit with guilt. Remind the people in your life that you are as entitled to dreams as they are. #2 – Give yourself permission to follow your dreams and goals. You’ve worked on telling yourself that it is okay to have dreams and goals, but have you given yourself permission to follow them yet? This might seem similar to point 1 but knowing something and accepting them are two different things. Know that you are allowed dreams then accept that you can follow them. In other words, give yourself permission. Here’s another big take away: you don’t need anyone else’ permission. #3 – Understand the full impact of points 2 and 3 on your children. Doing these things will model for your children (especially daughters) that it is acceptable and normal to go after your dreams when you are a mother. It will stop another generation of girls growing up to feel mother guilt and will stop another generation of boys assuming it is odd for women to want things outside of the home. You are not only doing this for you but also for your children. #4 – Counteract mother guilt with quality time. Planning special one-on-one moments with your children as well as group activities can help ease your feelings and create deeper bonds. None of this has to be expensive or time-consuming (though, both of those options are fine if that’s the way you row your boat). For instance, my children and I will do a living room picnic, or backyard reading session, or nature collecting together. One-on-ones include doing their favourite activity or even going for a walk, just the two of us. This is quality time that also creates special memories. #5 – Ask for support. Ask significant others, family, friends, and your children to support you in your endeavours. Due to the myth of the “Supermum”, women sometimes try to do everything themselves. This is an impossible standard. You ARE allowed to ask for help and support. Is there anything else you do that helps you to follow your dreams and avoid mother guilt? Please share in the comments. Yours in love and romance books, A.K. Leigh Approximate reading time: 3 minutes It’s February, which means everyone is talking about love, including me! For some, Valentine’s Day can feel like a looming weight around their necks: either because of the hyped-up romantic illusions created by the media, what you feel to be unrealistic expectations from your significant others, or the judgement you feel due to your single status at this time of year.
How can you lighten the weight and get to a place where you can enjoy the ultimate purpose of Valentine’s Day (i.e. to express love) without all the pressure? By indulging in one or more of the following three types of love this Valentine’s Day: 1. Self-Love Arguably, this this is the most important of the three, which is why it’s in the number 1 place. J As mentioned above, the strong presence of media around the topic of loving others this month can be overwhelming and make you forget that you are part of the equation, too! It’s time to add you back in. Whether you are in a partnership or single, ask yourself this question: What can I do for myself, buy for myself, or tell myself this Valentine’s Day that will make me feel loved and cherished? To give you some ideas, this is my plan: - Spending an hour reading. - Gifting myself a bouquet of roses and delicious vegan mint chocolate. - Remembering to check in and create positive self-talk throughout the day. Yours could include the above and/or some of these ideas: - A massage. - Two hours child-free. - Jewellery. - A walk in your favourite park or public garden. - A champagne dinner. - A river cruise. - Your favourite treat. - A bubble bath with a new Mills and Boon novel (or one of mine! J) - Booking in for a course you’ve always wanted to do. What else could you add to the list? The point is to pick something that makes YOU feel special, loved, and cherished. 2. Agape This is the Greek word for “divine love”, which is a fancy way of saying “unconditional love”. It can be a challenging concept for some people because it entails loving people exactly the way they are. Let me be clear up some common misconceptions before we go deeper into the meaning of that. Loving unconditionally does NOT include any of the following: - Being “fake happy” to suit others. - Pretending to forgive someone when you don’t. - Feeling like you SHOULD forgive someone. - Excusing behaviour that impacts you negatively. - Making excuses for the negative behaviour of others. - Remaining in unhealthy and/or toxic situations. - Lowering healthy boundaries because it is “better” for others if you do. - Putting others’ needs ahead of your own (always put yourself first. ALWAYS). Of course, all of the above also apply to you. You cannot expect others to treat you with respect and support if you don’t offer the same. Nor can you love others unconditionally if you don’t offer yourself the same kindness. So what does agape actually entail? Take a deep breath, because as I said, it’s a challenging concept even with the above items removed. Agape means you “keep on loving someone anyway”. Yes, despite the failings, imperfections, and betrayals, you love them anyway. I speak from experience when I say a feeling of loving connection to others can remain regardless of their actions. Comment below if you would like me to discuss this in more detail in another blog post. For now, understanding this type of love exists is enough. 3. The “Language of Love” (Nope, still not what you think!) Valentine’s Day can lead to fights between lovers when unexpressed needs or expectations are not met. The best way to avoid this is by doing something revolutionary: communicating! Ask the special person in your life this question: What do you need to feel loved and cherished by me? If you or those closest to you have no idea how to answer this question, you could start with the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman (you can take the free quiz here https://www.5lovelanguages.com/). Although I feel there are more than five ways to “speak love”, it is a good starting point to understanding how you and others feel and express love. It could be the perfect Valentine’s Day gift AND stop a fight before it starts. Do you have any other helpful tips, insights, or experiences that relate to these three types of love? Share them below. Happy Valentine’s Day! Yours in love, dreams, and writing, A.K. Leigh xxoo "Your task is not to seek for love, but to seek all the barriers that you have built against it." - Rumi ❤️
Trust. Vulnerabilty. Lowering barriers. Eeek! This stuff can be scarier than a Stephen King novel. 😱 I'm sure you have struggled with them. For me, each time I survived something awful in my life, I managed to keep my heart open. The only thing I can put that ability down to was my romantic, idealist, optimistic nature. "Was". Did you catch the past tense in that sentence? > A couple of years ago, I was finally brought to my knees. It took A LOT, but the world won. I built walls, barriers, and fences and stopped anyone new from getting close. > Looking back, I know I needed the self-protection (and time) to heal the past, set boundaries, figure out what I wanted, and work on myself. You might need that, too? > BUT . . . as Rumi said, there comes a time when you need to seek your barriers to love. Not only romantic love, but also self-love (the most important), and the myriad other ways to love in friendship, business relationships, dealing with others, etc. > You can never be whole, happy, and healed without love. It is the highest truth of the universe. ❤️ > How do you do it? This is where trust, vulnerability, and lowering barriers comes in! 👌🏻 > All of my books explore these themes in their unique way. Yes, I am aware this is my subconscious aiding me in my journey - and, hopefully, yours! 😊 > Recently, I made the conscious decision to start on my path back to love (of self, others, and the world 🥰). I have, slowly, been letting myself trust, be vulnerable, and lower my guard with you and others. Yes, it's scary. But the path to true love never runs smoothly - I've written enough books to know that! At the same time, it's worth it. Part of me knew it all along. 😊 > How are you working on your barriers to love? ❤️ ⠀⠀ A.K. xxoo . . . #blog #blogger #miniblog #bloggerofig #instablogger #bloggerofinstagram #love #selflove #rumi #trust #vulnerability #barriers #authenticity #thisisme #truelove #loweringbarriers #selfloveblogger #bloggers #rumiquote #writingcommunity #readingcommunity #inspiration #motivation #bereal #begenuine 💫 MINI BLOG 💫 "You're mine" "You belong to me" "I won't share you with anyone else" ⠀⠀ ⬆️ These comments make me cringe when I read them in a novel, especially the romance genre. They are all an example of possessiveness, which has no place in romance for the following reasons: ⠀⠀ 1. Love is not about owning and/or controlling someone else. - The ONLY personal you can completely control is yourself. ⠀⠀ 2. "True love" has trust at its foundation. - If you have to tell someone that they are yours . . . are they really? ⠀⠀ 3. Possessiveness can be a sign of abuse. - Be careful and alert in any relationship where the above words are spoken. ⠀⠀ Some authors write these possessive statements because it can come across as "protective". However, protectiveness can be written in more positive ways (I know because I've done it!). ⠀⠀ Possessive men and women are NOT a romantic/relationship ideal in real life. You might argue that a novel is "make-believe" but studies have shown that this stuff sinks into the subconscious. ⠀⠀ Young, impressionable, and vulnerable readers need to be guided towards what a REAL loving relationship looks like (art CAN imitate life!). My novels have relationships based on mutual trust, honesty, respect, and open communication - and my characters STILL get into trouble. Yet, it's the former that gets them to their happily ever after, and can in real life as well. As writers, let's model positive behaviours to our readers and stop writing possessive statements. . . . . . #miniblog #blog #blogger #bloggers #writingblog #romanceblog #romanceblogger #romance #truelove #romancebooks #romancereads #trust #possessiveness #control #romancegoals #trueromance #relationshipgoals #romanceadvice #relationshipadvice #love #romancewriter #romancewriting #ireadromance #positiveromance #iwriteromance #positiverolemodel (2 and 1/2 minute read) It’s almost time for Nanowrimo, the National Novel Writing Month, held for the whole month of November! If you’ve never written a novel before, or need some help getting organised, the process can be daunting. I’ve come up with 5 helpful tips to get you prepared and feeling boss-confident for the writing ahead:
#1 – Define the story you want to work on with a simple “what if” statement. The first step is to come up with an idea to work into a novel! Most of my story ideas start off as a “what if’? I’ve heard many other writers say the same thing. To give you an example, my Bloodworth Family paranormal romance series started with the following “what if” question: What if a witch and vampyre fell in love? See how basic that is? That’s the point. You want to keep it simple for now. Let this question roll around in your head for a couple of days then: #2 – Expand that statement into a paragraph (3-5 sentences) and notes. If you’ve kept the question in your mind, it should have started to take some more definite shape. Characters might have started “talking” to you. A setting might have popped up. Or several plot points could have flashed forward. Now is the moment to write it down. Expand on your “what if” statement to make it a “what if” paragraph. Mine looked something like this: What if a witch who is destined to kill vampyres due to a family curse starts having premonitions about a handsome vampyre? What if she meets the vampyre and discovers he has been having visions of her? What if the more they get to know each other, the more they fall in love? What if there is a war between the vampyres and witches? This gives you a lot more detail, doesn’t it? It also provides something more solid for you to work with come Nanowrimo. Don't stop there. Continue to jot down any insights regarding character, setting, and plot that come to you over the coming days and weeks. You have your story organised. Next, you need to get yourself prepared. #3 – Plan your words How many words do you want to write? The standard for Nanowrimo is 50,000 words, but you can set whatever goal you want. The only proviso I would suggest is making it realistic yet challenging. If it is too easy, you might give up; if it is too hard, you might give up. This is where balance and knowing yourself comes in handy. Figure out your words then decide on the days you can realistically (again) commit to it. Then, divide the words by the days each week you plan to write. This gives you your DWC (daily word count). The following is an example for 40,000 words by the end of the month: 40,000 words divided by 5 days per 4 weeks of Nanowrimo (i.e. 20 days) = 2,000 words per day. Now that you know your DWC, you can: #4 – Plan your time Writers, aspiring and established, are also known as professional procrastinators. They will find any excuse to avoid writing. That is why you are going to grab a calendar and mark on it blocks of time when you are going to sit down and write. #5 – Gather your tools Make sure your computer is ready, you have copious amounts of pens and paper, and all your reference guides (dictionary, grammar book, thesaurus, fiction/non-fiction writing books, etc) are within reach. N.B. I am giving away a paperback copy of “Save The Cat! Writes A Novel” to one lucky (Australian) member of my LOVELEIGHS CLUB this month . . . just in time for Nanowrimo! To enter, simply join the club here: www.fallinlovewithleigh/loveleighs You are now prepared and (should be feeling) like a boss to tackle Nanowrimo. :-) Let me know how you went in the comments below. Good luck! Yours in love and romance books, A.K. Leigh xo |
About A.K. LeighA.K. Leigh is an international-selling romance author, identical triplet, writing instructor, incurable romantic, love guru, self-love advocate, amateur mystic, mother, sometimes blogger and vlogger, and trauma survivor. Archives
November 2021
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